Recovering from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse and reclaiming my mind, body, and spirit
Yesterday I suddenly entered unexpected choppy waters that had not shown up on my radar beforehand. And ever since, harsh waves have crashed onto my deck, one after another. It starts when they connect with other negative people, and they start to commiserate, reinforcing each other's warped perspectives and giving each other--and themselves--excuses for giving …
[Background: my would-be-ex-husband passed away early last year, after 3 weeks in the hospital beginning January 14 (2022). He died February 5 from the irrational and nonsensical hospital protocols in response to a false-positive Covid-19 test. Our divorce had not yet been finalized, and I found myself responsible for everything thereafter. This required lots of …
I know it's been so long, dear ones. I can explain, promise. Somehow, the never-ending survival mode began to fade, ever-so-slowly and ever-so-jaggedly, into a feeling of being able to exhale, guilt-free. Sometimes. Not all the time. But sometimes. And sometimes, "sometimes" is good enough. Through some universal energy, I continued to attract and work …
I always thought that my healing would come slowly. Over the course of years, instead of weeks and months. Maybe I would get lucky and have a breakthrough moment every week or month. But no, much more has happened--and much faster--than that. Once again, I find myself in a situation that is surreal and unexpected. …
(Don't worry - even though the title of this post may imply some kind of ending, I'm not shutting this blog down. I'm going to keep it going. There is a lot of healing to do, after all. I still have lots of information to share. There's a whole new journey going on now.) It'll …
I shake the cartoonish tweeting birds out of my head and try to think straight. "What the hell just happened??" As if I haven't been asking myself that for almost a year and a half now. I speak Universe, and from my point of view it feels like the universe is bound and determined to …
Perhaps I didn't give myself enough credit in my last post. And certainly not the post before that. I'd driveled on about snakes and failure, respectively, but I hadn't truly shed any light on exactly how far I have come. All it takes is a look back. If knowledge is power (and it is), then …
Have you ever seen a snake slither? I saw one for the first time ever, last week. It was a pretty fascinating sight. I was surprised by how fast they move when they're really anxious to get going. And when this one did start moving, it was hard to tell exactly which direction it wanted …
It feels like I've failed, but I've succeeded. It also feels like I've succeeded, but I've failed. On the one hand, I have successfully extricated my heart and its emotions from all of the pathological narcissists / psychopaths in my life. The peptide bonds and my addiction to them have been broken. Although the divorce …
Continue reading Time Capsule: the first year (sort of) post-narcissism
Compare notes with a fellow friend who is either in a relationship with a psychopath or narcissist, or has just broken free from one, and you'll be surprised by how often you say the same things about your respective partners/exes. When people tell their stories, you'll hear yours in their words, and vice versa. It's …
Spitfyre Phoenix Rising 