Time Capsule: the first month post-narcissism

It's actually been five weeks since the breakup, and a month and a day since I began this blog (already??).  I'd say time flies, but it doesn't always.  Some of the weekend days drag on for much longer than they probably should. While the past is the past and all that, I find it important …

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Another turning point…

This morning, there was another shift from within.  It was almost as if I'm beginning to stand a little beside myself, little by little.  An inch here, and then another.  Sort of a dissociation from the Old Me, in phases. It's not a pathological type of personality dissociation.  It's not a denial of who I've …

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Navigating iffy waters…

"How well do you understand what's happening to you?" That was the genuine, non-condescending, realistic question from my counselor yesterday afternoon that got me thinking. Initially I thought it might be sort of a trick question, with a right answer and a wrong one.  I thought carefully, trying to consider every possible angle, mentally squinting …

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Not my first rodeo…

On Saturday, my world changed.  It was a tiny shift, but an important one.  I'd gotten together with my Amazing Bestie, and we went walking around outside.  This has been an activity that has historically stimulated and brought forward my introspective side.  Random thoughts pop into my head, and random dots connect, aligning seamlessly and …

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Settling vs Self-Confidence

My narcissistic relationships (which is all of my relationships to date) have always involved a lot of Settling.  They may seem perfect (or even maybe not) at first, but it isn't long before red flags start to poke through the surface.  These red flags might be causing all kinds of ruckus deep inside, but that …

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Validation first…

Chances are really good that when you first started to notice something "off" about your partner ("off" enough that you couldn't shove it under the rug any longer), you probably didn't think "narcissist!" right away. If you're like me, you might've worked down a working differential-diagnosis list.  "Maybe he's got depression", "maybe it's ADHD", "maybe …

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Nourishing vs Narcissism

In the last post, I talked about nourishment, of the soul/spirit variety.  This is crucial for anyone, a basic fundamental need.  However, it's absolutely essential for anyone recovering from a narcissistic relationship (or those still in one, for any one of many legitimate reasons), to shift this concept into primary focus. Most survivors of narcissistic …

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‘Who nourishes _you_?’

The question stopped me cold, during last week's therapy session. I had to stop and think.  The mind goes down a list, starting with partners (plural - one ex and one husband) first.  When you're just coming off of the addiction that is a narcissistic relationship, your mind is wired to automatically think of them …

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Release from the narcissistic prison

Narcissistic relationships are like a prison.  They control, dictate, isolate, and alienate.  They can turn you into someone else, maybe even someone you no longer recognize.  Through manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, deflection, distraction, projection, future-faking, and threats, we are often slowly whittled down into shadows of our former selves... ...Or were we?  I might …

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The importance of self-honesty

I've mentioned before that I've found it incredibly helpful, at least in hindsight, to have been honest with myself, and today I want to expand on that.  Of course, "hindsight" is the operative term, for I didn't have (take) the time to go back over  my journals until much later, after the complete dissolution of …

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