Recovering from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse and reclaiming my mind, body, and spirit
It's kind of like Ladyhawke, the 1980s movie in which a European bishop loved a woman, except that...he was a bishop. She'd fallen in love with a man, and the bishop became so jealous that he cast a spell/curse on the two, in which the woman would be human by night but a hawk by …
Hi, gorgeous ones, how was your weekend? Weekends--they mean different things to different people, elicit different emotions, don't they? They do for everyone, and they may (or may not) hold different meanings for those surviving narcissism, or having to live with it (in my case, both). Weekends could bring sighs of relief, feelings of loneliness, …
Please forgive me, gorgeous ones; I'm still unpacking and processing and analyzing and doing all the things that empaths and codependents do in addiction recovery from a narcissistic relationship. The path to that recovery is not always linear; in fact, it rarely is. Translation: we're going to slip and fall. We're going to backtrack, regress. …
Continue reading Slipping and falling…and then picking myself back up again
This post is a continuation of [Part 1: Friendship], which covered what I noticed straightaway in the platonic friendship. Despite the presence of what I realize now were red flags, I didn't know better then, so I proceeded with only minimal caution, allowing myself to tumble down the hill in love with this man. Once …
Continue reading The red flags were there…and I ignored them [Part 2: Relationship]
A narcissist's first impressions (plural) are simply a mask, an illusion. We all realize it sooner or later, don't we? But by then, it's too late; we've fallen in love with that illusion. It is that convincing, and it show-and-told us what we wanted to feel, see, and hear. And so, we fall for it. …
Continue reading The red flags were there…and I ignored them [Part 1: Friendship]
It begins with what I'd call the cold shoulder, the detachment, the withdrawal, a coldness. I hadn't realized anything was wrong. I certainly hadn't acted any differently; I was my usual loving, affectionate, generous self, just looking forward to a night cuddling on the couch in front of a good TV show after dinner. I …
The last post was very left-brain of me, and this one might be, too. I'm talking solutions, after all. The acute phase is just what it sounds like...the hours, days, weeks, maybe even months, after severing a relationship with a narcissist. You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Everything is painful, a …
Yesterday got away from me. Ever since I'd first fallen in love, they've tended to do that. Even at almost a week into this process, the grieving hadn't gotten any easier. It was like a Groundhog Day nightmare, where the same oceans of emotions and grief cycles kept repeating themselves. During these, I cried, audibly, …
Hi, gorgeous ones! Beyond that, oh my, where do I start? There's a lot. Just a lot. So many memories, so many thoughts, so many emotions, so many "what-if"s, and so on. I have a lot of questions. And I have so few answers. There are few things I know for sure. But I do …
Spitfyre Phoenix Rising 