Navigating iffy waters…

"How well do you understand what's happening to you?" That was the genuine, non-condescending, realistic question from my counselor yesterday afternoon that got me thinking. Initially I thought it might be sort of a trick question, with a right answer and a wrong one.  I thought carefully, trying to consider every possible angle, mentally squinting …

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Not my first rodeo…

On Saturday, my world changed.  It was a tiny shift, but an important one.  I'd gotten together with my Amazing Bestie, and we went walking around outside.  This has been an activity that has historically stimulated and brought forward my introspective side.  Random thoughts pop into my head, and random dots connect, aligning seamlessly and …

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Settling vs Self-Confidence

My narcissistic relationships (which is all of my relationships to date) have always involved a lot of Settling.  They may seem perfect (or even maybe not) at first, but it isn't long before red flags start to poke through the surface.  These red flags might be causing all kinds of ruckus deep inside, but that …

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‘Who nourishes _you_?’

The question stopped me cold, during last week's therapy session. I had to stop and think.  The mind goes down a list, starting with partners (plural - one ex and one husband) first.  When you're just coming off of the addiction that is a narcissistic relationship, your mind is wired to automatically think of them …

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Release from the narcissistic prison

Narcissistic relationships are like a prison.  They control, dictate, isolate, and alienate.  They can turn you into someone else, maybe even someone you no longer recognize.  Through manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, deflection, distraction, projection, future-faking, and threats, we are often slowly whittled down into shadows of our former selves... ...Or were we?  I might …

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The importance of self-honesty

I've mentioned before that I've found it incredibly helpful, at least in hindsight, to have been honest with myself, and today I want to expand on that.  Of course, "hindsight" is the operative term, for I didn't have (take) the time to go back over  my journals until much later, after the complete dissolution of …

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The yin-yang weekend

Hi, gorgeous ones, how was your weekend?  Weekends--they mean different things to different people, elicit different emotions, don't they?  They do for everyone, and they may (or may not) hold different meanings for those surviving narcissism, or having to live with it (in my case, both).  Weekends could bring sighs of relief, feelings of loneliness, …

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Slipping and falling…and then picking myself back up again

Please forgive me, gorgeous ones; I'm still unpacking and processing and analyzing and doing all the things that empaths and codependents do in addiction recovery from a narcissistic relationship. The path to that recovery is not always linear; in fact, it rarely is.  Translation: we're going to slip and fall.  We're going to backtrack, regress. …

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