Sometimes there’s trauma

You know the Buddhist koan - something like "if a tree falls in the woods and there's nobody around to hear it, did it actually make any sound?" There is an everyday-life adaptation for that - "if somebody hurt you and you didn't recognize it at the time, did they actually hurt you?" The answer …

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What a pathological narcissist / psychopath looks like on a dating website

I still sleuth, play detective, checking up on my soon-to-be-ex-husband.  This is important, because I still live under the same roof with him, and thus, his activities still have the potential to impact me. It's not that I like it.  It's not that I'm jealous.  It's not that I'm spiteful or vengeful.  It's not like …

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Uncomfortable parallels…

Anyone who has ever been involved with a narcissist or psychopath needs to see the true crime docuseries "Evil Lives Here".  Each episode presents a poignant account of a violent criminal through interwoven interview segments with someone who knew the perpetrator very well (typically a relative or ex-partner) and staged reenactments that visually demonstrate what …

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All I ever needed to know I learned from living with a psychopath

They should really teach personality disorders in school.  Narcissism and psychopathy especially, should be taught in the basic curriculum, perhaps nestled into the Life Skills classes that teach you about balancing your checkbook or renting your first apartment.  Maybe a standalone unit of the class, called How To Recognize and Avoid a Narcissist or Psychopath, …

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