Looking forward…

Have you ever noticed that looking back gets a bad rap? It's natural to want to reflect on the past to find patterns, connect dots, solve puzzles.  It's in looking back that we learn lessons, piece clues together, better understand the present, and better shape the future. Some resist this activity, for whatever reason (probably …

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Uncomfortable parallels…

Anyone who has ever been involved with a narcissist or psychopath needs to see the true crime docuseries "Evil Lives Here".  Each episode presents a poignant account of a violent criminal through interwoven interview segments with someone who knew the perpetrator very well (typically a relative or ex-partner) and staged reenactments that visually demonstrate what …

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All I ever needed to know I learned from living with a psychopath

They should really teach personality disorders in school.  Narcissism and psychopathy especially, should be taught in the basic curriculum, perhaps nestled into the Life Skills classes that teach you about balancing your checkbook or renting your first apartment.  Maybe a standalone unit of the class, called How To Recognize and Avoid a Narcissist or Psychopath, …

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Catching my breath (and sharing my strategies)…

Dear ones.  This post is for you.  It's for anybody out there who might be going through something similar, or for anyone with a loved one in this situation. Because I'm sure I'm not the only one.  People like my soon-to-be-ex are out there.  They hide where you least expect them.  They make headline news.  …

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Picking up the pieces…

Self-doubt (personified, in my most recent post) - about whether or not I should go through with a divorce after all - has been permanently evicted.  I even threw away the proverbial beer cans and wiped off the proverbial coffee table. Nine days ago, the gavel banged so hard on that decision that it cracked …

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I suppose I *could* gaslight myself…

When you're planning to leave a narcissist or otherwise toxic partner, it requires a lot of preparation, which occurs on its own timeline, and cannot be rushed.  And it's actually the smoother times (comparatively speaking) that are the hardest.  When they're not actually being all that abusive.  When they are actually being more helpful and …

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