Validation first…

Chances are really good that when you first started to notice something "off" about your partner ("off" enough that you couldn't shove it under the rug any longer), you probably didn't think "narcissist!" right away. If you're like me, you might've worked down a working differential-diagnosis list.  "Maybe he's got depression", "maybe it's ADHD", "maybe …

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Nourishing vs Narcissism

In the last post, I talked about nourishment, of the soul/spirit variety.  This is crucial for anyone, a basic fundamental need.  However, it's absolutely essential for anyone recovering from a narcissistic relationship (or those still in one, for any one of many legitimate reasons), to shift this concept into primary focus. Most survivors of narcissistic …

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More red flags – the things you find yourself doing

It may seem monotonous, even overkill, to keep writing about red flags, but I'm feeling the need to do it anyway.  Maybe it's part of my healing process, the stage where you need to reflect, which might appear to some to be code for analyzing, ruminating, justifying...but to me feels more like reminding oneself of …

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The red flags were there…and I ignored them [Part 2: Relationship]

This post is a continuation of [Part 1: Friendship], which covered what I noticed straightaway in the platonic friendship.  Despite the presence of what I realize now were red flags, I didn't know better then, so I proceeded with only minimal caution, allowing myself to tumble down the hill in love with this man. Once …

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The red flags were there…and I ignored them [Part 1: Friendship]

A narcissist's first impressions (plural) are simply a mask, an illusion.  We all realize it sooner or later, don't we?  But by then, it's too late; we've fallen in love with that illusion.  It is that convincing, and it show-and-told us what we wanted to feel, see, and hear. And so, we fall for it. …

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