Letting go

It's not too often that I take trips down memory lane on this blog.  Looking back every so often is healthy, and I do it just enough. I did so today.  As I did, I realized just how different life is now, a stark night-and-day switch from the beginning. I have very clear memories of …

Whiting out, overwriting

When a toxic or dysfunctional relationship ends, ...it's complicated.  This is especially true for a narcissistic, sociopathic, or psychopathic relationship.  Because the beginning is often so good, dear ones.  You who have been there know exactly what I mean.  We're now aware of the term for it: love-bombing.  And we recognize it for what it …

Just a year can change (almost) everything…

It's cloudy out today.  This is quite a departure from the seemingly-endless stream of sunny skies, complete with their triple digit temperatures.  And it's okay. The sun kept me Safe, before.  Safe from the Thing, the unimaginable nightmare and trauma of what I'd helplessly witnessed--and what I had ultimately had to do--last year.  No matter …

The clutter-trauma connection: decluttering is part of healing

Depending on how certain events this week go, my roommate and I may be moving!  We've located a different apartment that provides more space.  Room to spread out, room to breathe.  If it happens, it will be glory; it will be bliss... ...So long as we set it up in an orderly fashion, and keep …

A simple kind of life

Last year's theme was: "lots of moving parts". And oh my, dear ones, were there ever! After my would-be-ex-husband passed, I was solely responsible for a fairly large apartment and a decent-sized office suite, neither of which I could afford or keep up.  Luckily, the office lease was up; unluckily, the apartment was not.  I …

Time Capsule: the first year (sort of) post-narcissism

It feels like I've failed, but I've succeeded. It also feels like I've succeeded, but I've failed. On the one hand, I have successfully extricated my heart and its emotions from all of the pathological narcissists / psychopaths in my life.  The peptide bonds and my addiction to them have been broken.  Although the divorce …

Don’t jump the gun.

It's tempting, I know - beginning to consider jumping back into the dating pool again immediately after untangling yourself from a narcissistic or psychopathic relationship.  It's as if we might feel somehow empowered by seeking out another mate, a sign of recovery if we can put ourselves back out there and reignite the ability to …

When the rain washes you clean you’ll know.

I write this from the makeshift-and-surprisingly-homey home office of my spirit-brother - yes, the very same one who broke my heart nearly 8 months ago, only to level up with me once I'd put said heart back together again, and then go one (or more) step(s) further yet and come through for me when I …

In the thick of it all…kind of

I know it's been a long time, gorgeous ones.  There's more to do than I have time--and can remember--to do, so I end up not getting to do everything, and then I feel a bit guilty and sheepish until I remind myself that I'm human, after all. The past several weeks have felt like being …

I’m okay being single

There - I said it.  I never thought I would.  I'd always been the type to crave and desire love, the type that seeks out a new partner the millisecond a relationship is over. But let's face it, dear ones: after having been through (decades of) narcissistic and psychopathic abuse, I know that another relationship …