Don’t jump the gun.

It's tempting, I know - beginning to consider jumping back into the dating pool again immediately after untangling yourself from a narcissistic or psychopathic relationship.  It's as if we might feel somehow empowered by seeking out another mate, a sign of recovery if we can put ourselves back out there and reignite the ability to …

Continue reading Don’t jump the gun.

All I ever needed to know I learned from living with a psychopath

They should really teach personality disorders in school.  Narcissism and psychopathy especially, should be taught in the basic curriculum, perhaps nestled into the Life Skills classes that teach you about balancing your checkbook or renting your first apartment.  Maybe a standalone unit of the class, called How To Recognize and Avoid a Narcissist or Psychopath, …

Continue reading All I ever needed to know I learned from living with a psychopath

Picking up the pieces…

Self-doubt (personified, in my most recent post) - about whether or not I should go through with a divorce after all - has been permanently evicted.  I even threw away the proverbial beer cans and wiped off the proverbial coffee table. Nine days ago, the gavel banged so hard on that decision that it cracked …

Continue reading Picking up the pieces…

A week in the (healing) life…

Healing is wobbly.  People sometimes envision the healing process as a set of stairs, but they may leave out the fact that sometimes those stairs can be made of crumbly stone, or earth that shifts unexpectedly.  There are random pits of quicksand, too.  Lots to navigate. During the healing process, you level up in a …

Continue reading A week in the (healing) life…

Time Capsule: the first month post-narcissism

It's actually been five weeks since the breakup, and a month and a day since I began this blog (already??).  I'd say time flies, but it doesn't always.  Some of the weekend days drag on for much longer than they probably should. While the past is the past and all that, I find it important …

Continue reading Time Capsule: the first month post-narcissism

Another turning point…

This morning, there was another shift from within.  It was almost as if I'm beginning to stand a little beside myself, little by little.  An inch here, and then another.  Sort of a dissociation from the Old Me, in phases. It's not a pathological type of personality dissociation.  It's not a denial of--nor a refusal …

Continue reading Another turning point…

Navigating iffy waters…

"How well do you understand what's happening to you?" That was the genuine, non-condescending, realistic question from my counselor yesterday afternoon that got me thinking. Initially I thought it might be sort of a trick question, with a right answer and a wrong one.  I thought carefully, trying to consider every possible angle, mentally squinting …

Continue reading Navigating iffy waters…

Not my first rodeo…

On Saturday, my world changed.  It was a tiny shift, but an important one.  I'd gotten together with my Amazing Bestie, and we went walking around outside.  This has been an activity that has historically stimulated and brought forward my introspective side.  Random thoughts pop into my head, and random dots connect, aligning seamlessly and …

Continue reading Not my first rodeo…

Settling vs Self-Confidence

My narcissistic relationships (which is all of my relationships to date) have always involved a lot of Settling.  They may seem perfect (or even maybe not) at first, but it isn't long before red flags start to poke through the surface.  These red flags might be causing all kinds of ruckus deep inside, but that …

Continue reading Settling vs Self-Confidence