What a pathological narcissist / psychopath looks like on a dating website

I still sleuth, play detective, checking up on my soon-to-be-ex-husband.  This is important, because I still live under the same roof with him, and thus, his activities still have the potential to impact me. It's not that I like it.  It's not that I'm jealous.  It's not that I'm spiteful or vengeful.  It's not like …

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Uncomfortable parallels…

Anyone who has ever been involved with a narcissist or psychopath needs to see the true crime docuseries "Evil Lives Here".  Each episode presents a poignant account of a violent criminal through interwoven interview segments with someone who knew the perpetrator very well (typically a relative or ex-partner) and staged reenactments that visually demonstrate what …

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A week in the (healing) life…

Healing is wobbly.  People sometimes envision the healing process as a set of stairs, but they may leave out the fact that sometimes those stairs can be made of crumbly stone, or earth that shifts unexpectedly.  There are random pits of quicksand, too.  Lots to navigate. During the healing process, you level up in a …

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Some codependency and narcissistic relationship recovery tactics…

It's been a fast past week.  Lisa Romano has been in my head.  She totally gets this narcissistic relationship and codependency recovery thing.  She's been there, to hell and back. And you thought you were alone, dear one.  Right?  I know I did. Because it feels so alone, so very alone, and you almost feel …

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Release from the narcissistic prison

Narcissistic relationships are like a prison.  They control, dictate, isolate, and alienate.  They can turn you into someone else, maybe even someone you no longer recognize.  Through manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, deflection, distraction, projection, future-faking, and threats, we are often slowly whittled down into shadows of our former selves... ...Or were we?  I might …

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The importance of self-honesty

I've mentioned before that I've found it incredibly helpful, at least in hindsight, to have been honest with myself, and today I want to expand on that.  Of course, "hindsight" is the operative term, for I didn't have (take) the time to go back over  my journals until much later, after the complete dissolution of …

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More red flags – the things you find yourself doing

It may seem monotonous, even overkill, to keep writing about red flags, but I'm feeling the need to do it anyway.  Maybe it's part of my healing process, the stage where you need to reflect, which might appear to some to be code for analyzing, ruminating, justifying...but to me feels more like reminding oneself of …

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The red flags were there…and I ignored them [Part 2: Relationship]

This post is a continuation of [Part 1: Friendship], which covered what I noticed straightaway in the platonic friendship.  Despite the presence of what I realize now were red flags, I didn't know better then, so I proceeded with only minimal caution, allowing myself to tumble down the hill in love with this man. Once …

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