Validation first…

Chances are really good that when you first started to notice something "off" about your partner ("off" enough that you couldn't shove it under the rug any longer), you probably didn't think "narcissist!" right away. If you're like me, you might've worked down a working differential-diagnosis list.  "Maybe he's got depression", "maybe it's ADHD", "maybe …

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Release from the narcissistic prison

Narcissistic relationships are like a prison.  They control, dictate, isolate, and alienate.  They can turn you into someone else, maybe even someone you no longer recognize.  Through manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, deflection, distraction, projection, future-faking, and threats, we are often slowly whittled down into shadows of our former selves... ...Or were we?  I might …

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More red flags – the things you find yourself doing

It may seem monotonous, even overkill, to keep writing about red flags, but I'm feeling the need to do it anyway.  Maybe it's part of my healing process, the stage where you need to reflect, which might appear to some to be code for analyzing, ruminating, justifying...but to me feels more like reminding oneself of …

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The red flags were there…and I ignored them [Part 2: Relationship]

This post is a continuation of [Part 1: Friendship], which covered what I noticed straightaway in the platonic friendship.  Despite the presence of what I realize now were red flags, I didn't know better then, so I proceeded with only minimal caution, allowing myself to tumble down the hill in love with this man. Once …

Continue reading The red flags were there…and I ignored them [Part 2: Relationship]