Time Capsule: the first year (sort of) post-narcissism

It feels like I've failed, but I've succeeded. It also feels like I've succeeded, but I've failed. On the one hand, I have successfully extricated my heart and its emotions from all of the pathological narcissists / psychopaths in my life.  The peptide bonds and my addiction to them have been broken.  Although the divorce …

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I’m okay being single

There - I said it.  I never thought I would.  I'd always been the type to crave and desire love, the type that seeks out a new partner the millisecond a relationship is over. But let's face it, dear ones: after having been through (decades of) narcissistic and psychopathic abuse, I know that another relationship …

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I’m a person too

I've reached the stage (of what, I'm not exactly sure) where the relentless burning desire to investigate and discover has been replaced with a mere mild curiosity that only floats through my mind occasionally.  Thinking about my soon-to-be-ex and his daily activities is almost like checking Facebook; it's no longer a compulsion, but a purely …

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What a pathological narcissist / psychopath looks like on a dating website

I still sleuth, play detective, checking up on my soon-to-be-ex-husband.  This is important, because I still live under the same roof with him, and thus, his activities still have the potential to impact me. It's not that I like it.  It's not that I'm jealous.  It's not that I'm spiteful or vengeful.  It's not like …

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Picking up the pieces…

Self-doubt (personified, in my most recent post) - about whether or not I should go through with a divorce after all - has been permanently evicted.  I even threw away the proverbial beer cans and wiped off the proverbial coffee table. Nine days ago, the gavel banged so hard on that decision that it cracked …

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I suppose I *could* gaslight myself…

When you're planning to leave a narcissist or otherwise toxic partner, it requires a lot of preparation, which occurs on its own timeline, and cannot be rushed.  And it's actually the smoother times (comparatively speaking) that are the hardest.  When they're not actually being all that abusive.  When they are actually being more helpful and …

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